Office Holiday Party Rules of Engagement

“I got allotta problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it!”

– Frank Costanza, kicking off Festivus, in that infamous Seinfeld episode

If I may paraphrase Frank, I’ve been to allotta Christmas parties and I have hosted some too. I have some opinions on what works. And now you’re gonna hear about it! Allow me to share some accumulated wisdom, and if you are still in the planning stages of your holiday gathering, some of these insights may help.

1. Don’t Cancel the Holiday Party. EVER. Holiday parties come at the end of the year and this happens to coincide with year end results, at least for those whose fiscal years are on the annual calendar. When times are tight, when goals are iffy and when there is pressure on cost, a genius will emerge and say ‘we should cancel all holiday parties’. Don’t fall for that trap. It is one of the biggest stinkbombs of employee relations. Even those that don’t attend or complain loudly about holiday parties are going to sound off about what heartless butt heads senior leadership is. Don’t do it. If cost is an issue, ask everyone to adjust their budgets and be careful about their celebrations, or have one large one for everyone instead of department/team celebrations. There. Wasn’t that easy?
   
2. Sit down dinners are out. They have been for a while, even for events beyond just the Holidays. No one wants to get stuck in the same place next to people they aren’t fond of for 3 plus hours of forced conversation and merriment. Explore the amazing new innovation of the stand up reception with heavy h’orderves – much better. Everyone can circulate and find someone tolerable to chat with, and get fed. Isn’t that awesome? Ho ho ho!
   
3. Invite Spouses or family members? No. Been there done that. Don’t do it. It’s awkward and our goal is to keep this manageable. The family is busy and this is too much to deal with around the holidays. I’ve witnessed some spouses over the years that, well, lets just say weren’t the most merry. Or sober. Less people, less variables, easier to manage.
   
4. Never mandatory: some people just don’t like parties, some don’t like the holidays and some have too much going on outside of work. Make all of it optional. If you do a good job, FOMO will happen. Build it and they will come. Mandatory fun never is. Don’t be that boss.
   
5. Tie in some charity work, but optional: a success I had in my holiday party evolution was to add in a couple of hours of volunteer work for those that were willing. We chose a longstanding community partner of our company, Guardian Angel Settlement Association (www.gasastl.org), which allowed the team to read to daycare kids and work on gift baskets for the underprivileged. Then we went to a reception where the mood was great because of that activity. High participation ensued.
   
6. Keep the party during office hours: I recommend knocking off at 2pm on one of the work days before Christmas, optimally keeping the festivities at the office or close by, and providing 2-3 hours of merriment. Booze is ok, but keep a strict cut off time. Heavy appetizers as noted. Those who want to extend the party can do so (I was usually one of them), but as the bartender says at 1 am, ‘ya don’t have to go home, but ya can’t stay here!’

Final thoughts? I believe we are beyond the point of discouraging the use of words like ‘Christmas’ and using ‘holiday’ instead. Don’t be a weeny if someone calls it the Christmas Party. Its ok. We are doing a much better job at being culturally inclusive these days. Acknowledge all the other traditions on the appropriate days and we have a deal. As for me, I wish you and yours all the happiness and blessings possible, and a very Merry Christmas.

PS: Office Christmas Party is an underrated classic.